9 Habits.

Striving to be better is always a good thing. But it doesn’t always happen. We are all works in progress and in a crazy, busy and unfair world, striving to be such is not always top of mind.

So, let’s make it easy on ourselves, shall we? Nine easy habits to keep in mind as we go through our daily pursuits. Happy or sad, good or bad. We can do this, yes?

1. Our needs vs. our wants vs. what we actually deserve.

I struggle with this. When shopping at my favorite local boutique, I always find something I want and often make excuses for it to suddenly become a need. The universe laughs at me with this because then my car breaks down and needs a repair. The lesson learned? If it’s not a need, don’t find a reason for it to become one until it actually does. This applies to relationships and other past times too.

2. Believe in the good intentions.

Nine times out of ten, we’ve gotta give people the benefit of the doubt. Give them second chances. Don’t let them burn you to the third degree, but love them with kindness.

3. “No,” it’s not that bad after all.

When I was a kid, I hated the word “no.” Didn’t we all? But sometimes, saying “no” to family and friends to take a day or an afternoon for yourself is more than what the doctor ordered. Learn what you need and what you don’t. Say yes to the things you do need, want and try new things too. But try not to feed into the things that take away from your happiness. Life is short. And more importantly, this is YOUR short life, do what pleases you.

4. Cope healthily.

Drinking, complaining and isolating do not apply here. As we grow older, problems don’t change or get harder, but they do change. If you don’t have a coping mechanism for these problems (first-world problems do not apply here either), then our issues will only escalate.

5. Have a hobby.

This one bleeds into number four a little bit. Find things that are yours. Things that please you and makes you happy. If you don’t know what that would be, then keep trying new things until something sticks. And, it’s okay to invest (within reason) in your hobby. You’ll be investing time and energy into it anyways…might as well go all in if you can.

6. One is not the loneliest number that you ever knew.

Be it grabbing a quick bite to eat or between relationships. Being alone provides the opportunity to explore ourselves, or just get some good old fashioned alone time in the hustle and bustle of our lives.

7. Go the extra mile, passionately.

Going the extra mile takes hard work. A lot of hard work. But working for something you really want, something you really really want (with maybe a burning passion) is worth taking the chance on. We need to take chances on the things we love. What is mine? Writing. So here I am on a Saturday night writing this blog post. Do I mind? Not one bit.

8. Think for yourself.

Don’t worry about society. Don’t worry about your friends and don’t worry about what other people will think. Dig into what is important to you, into what you believe to be right and true. Side note: Don’t forget to respect what others think too. It is not your way or the highway.

9. Let it go, let it go. (Forgive the Frozen reference.)

Worrying about a boyfriend/girlfriend not loving us anymore, getting turned down for a job or twisting our ankle is not going to do anybody any good. If it happens, shake it off and move on. Life happens and it is no use worrying about or stressing about it. Excessive worrying is about as useful as decaffeinated coffee.

 

 

 

 

 

On having hope.

Hope.  It’s a funny thing. Some people are afraid to have hope, or hold onto it, because they’re afraid of being disappointed or let down. And for some, maybe it’s the repeated let down that brings them to this. And, not just seeing — but believing in — the silver lining is the most difficult part of it all.

But in my experience, hope is the only thing that gets me through those let downs and disappointments.

There have been many things and people in my 24 years of life that have let me down. Most of which I’ve gotten over and moved on from, but there are still those few that get to me. That being said, there is an exponential amount of family, friends and other treasured souls in my life who have taught me how to use these experiences and learn from it. Who have opened up their hearts and pain to me and have helped to guide me in the direction of hope. Be it relationships, family-matters, work experience or just finding general purpose in life.

Well, that’s how life is supposed to be right? We’re all supposed to take from the bad and make the good out of it by recognizing the things we’ve learned from to move forward right? After all, that’s how we grow, right?  Easier said than done; I believe it’s more difficult for some than others, especially given the gravity of their situation.

Here’s the thing.

Hope and faith for the future, for the journey, are my guides through life. They keep me sane and keep me from breaking down and they keep me moving forward. I may not see or believe in the silver lining right away. But I have hope that one day, I’ll see it and recognize it without the bat of an eye. Hope delivers the ability to choose happiness.

Perhaps it’s time that helps, maybe its my general outlook on life. Maybe it’s my faith. Perhaps it’s a combination of all three. Or, heck, maybe it’s all those disney movies I watched as a kid that always ended in a happy ending.

I know that not every life gets a happy ending. But, it’s about finding the happy in that life which makes the difference in having and finding hope. How? By rejoicing in the things we have, while striving and working towards the things we want and need in our life.  Sometimes it takes a an appropriate amount of time to readjust and refocus on this. But in the end it’s all about finding a way to believe in the silver lining.

Embracing the Power of Music.

Music invigorates and inspires my soul. When I listen to a really good song, something inside of me awakens and holds me completely captive to the emotion in the lyrics, the instruments, the singers voice. All of it.

I’ve always enjoyed music. All varieties. Musicals, Pop/Rock, Jazz, Country. I grew up in a house where we listened to music all of the time. I sang in high school, I still sing when I’m at home, in my car, in the shower… you get the picture. And I always have the radio or Spotify playing in the background. It’s one of the many ways I like to experience and understand emotion — my own and that of others.

I remember this very distinct moment I was cruising around Chaska, on a summer night after my senior year of high school. Stereo was cranked, windows were down and the wind was in my face. I felt so alive in that moment. In that moment I was unstoppable. Maybe it was because I was 18 and having the summer of my life (up to that point). But now, every time I hear Coldplay’s “Viva la Vida,” I go back to that moment. And that same feeling is evoked and I feel like I am 18 and unstoppable again.

Mumford and Sons is another one. Their music is so incredibly powerful. For me it’s the combination of Marcus Mumford’s voice with the quick strums of the banjo’s and guitars and other various instruments they use. And the song writing. The song writing (literally) speaks enough for itself for Mumford.

I could go on and on and on about different bands, singers, songwriters that I enjoy. But the reality of it, there is not much that I won’t listen to (some very strong objections of mine to specific genres…but that’s for another day).

The point I am trying to make here is that human beings are very emotional creatures. We really are. And music is a way humans feel connected to each other. Music is the experience. It is the visceral feeling you get when you listen to a favorite tune. Something you can relate to, something that brings you back to a happy or sad time in your life. That’s part of the beauty of music and the appreciation I have for it.

Perhaps we all have different reasons for sitting back, enjoying the tunes and singing along to the radio. There is an experience tucked inside of every song, something that perhaps we’ve experienced ourselves and can relate to, something we envy, something we dispise. But its a communal experience, for unique and personal reasons. And I love it.

 

Just a Little Bit of Wanderlust.

You know that feeling you get, when something you’ve been waiting what seemed like forever for, finally FINALLY happens, and all you can do is smile?

Well, call me crazy, but that is how I felt the last time my passport was stamped. Now, I am not a world traveler (though I’d like to see a good chunk of it), but when I went to the Bahamas a few years ago, and my passport was stamped, all I could do was smile.

I am what some would call a dreamer.  I’ve always dreamed of traveling the world, exploring cultures and gathering enough stories worthy of sharing. And one day I will do this. (I’m getting pretty tired of saying “one day” and need that day to be tomorrow, so I think this day will be sooner than later.)

So.. my top 5 places to search for a way to get that “passport stamping feeling” again, and again, and again…

1. London, England.

What would I do? What wouldn’t I do. I would absolutely be one of those annoying tourists trying to make the stone faced soldiers crack a smile in front of Buckingham, I’d go to the theatre, go inside a red phone booth. And scout for Daniel Radcliffe my entire trip.

2. France…every freaking corner of it.

Gertrude Stein once said, “America is my country, but Paris is my home.” Well, I need to see what that is all about, and make some good use of all of those French classes I took in college. I’d also go down to Marseille and the French Alps. Oui, Oui?

3. Scotland/Ireland. Because my ancestors are from there.

First stop Dublin. Second stop Cliffs of Moher. Third stop Hogwarts, Nessie and lots and lots of castles.

4. Italy.

I’d go everywhere. Travel from Sicily up to Florence and Verona, drink lots of wine and get lost in the canals of Venice and have a wonderful Roman holiday.

5. New Zealand/Australia.

It’s where they filmed Lord of the Rings, so.. even though I’ve probably said enough here, I would hike around and deep sea dive and likely travel up the Australian coast.

 

Be Happy.

I read a quote the other day that said, “Life is 10% of what happens to you, 90% of how you react to it.” Wise words. This phrase got me thinking about the challenges and social pressures I see every day, and how I have chosen to react to recent events. Now, as a 20-something, I am still figuring things out and I’m not saying I hold all the answers. I don’t. But based on these events, certain things have kept me marching on.

1. Stop being afraid to say “yes.”

For the last four years or so, I’ve been talking about how great it would be to learn how to sail. This desire goes back much further than the last four years of my young adult life and had always been something I’d wanted to do. Well, last week I bit the bullet and said to myself, “yes, I am going to do this for me.” So, I logged onto the Lake Calhoun website and signed up for the Adult Level 1 sailing class. I said “yes” because we have to do things for ourselves in this world. Things that will push us, things that will give us new, fun and enlightening experiences. And doing this for me feels really good.

2. Be present.

Please, please, please stop checking your social media when in the company of others. This day in age we’ve become “master” multi-taskers; checking our email, Instagram, Facebook while at lunch with a friend or hanging out with a significant other. But when doing this are we really ever 100% there? Even texting takes away from the full-presence potential we have with others (there is a whole other blog post in there about talking on the phone vs. texting). Not going to lie, I am guilty of this from time to time. But being completely present with the person you are sitting across a table from or spending time with is so much more satisfying. Our email, Instagram and Facebook will be there later — the experiences we share with others will be over before we know it, and these are the things we should relish our time in.

3. Be in charge of your own emotions.

Stop giving others power over you. Don’t refute your beliefs or deny your values because the person you’re with feels differently, and don’t let the things you can not control in life determine how happy or sad you are. Own how you feel, own your actions, and just be…you. (Is this a corny cheese ball moment? I guess so.)

4. You’re not perfect, life’s not perfect, and that’s okay.

We don’t have to have all of the answers right away. Sometimes, life throws us curve balls and we will strike out. Heck, we might even lose the game. But, the beauty in that is we can wake up tomorrow and keep on swinging, keep on figuring things out. We’re not going to have all of the answers right away and there will be times where we will be dragging our feet to the plate. But, as long as we keep showing up and keep trying and keep pursuing our end-goal (even if that goal changes half a dozen times), with the people who have shown us that they will be there for us no matter what and would do anything to keep being there — we have nothing to lose.

5. Pursue your dream.

That said, there are still things in life that we’ve aspired to since we were four years old, reenacting Disney movies in the basements of our parent’s home (yes, that was me). And the beauty about being human is our ability to keep on dreaming, and making those dreams a reality (how about some wine with that cheese, eh?). How we accomplish that will differ, our dreams may change, but the ability to dream never will. And that is a beautiful thing.

 

 

What if I fall? Or what if I fly?

Risk taking, as most often defined by those around me, might involve jumping out of an airplane or quitting a job to travel Europe.

But what about the chances we take every day? What about the things we’d like to do, but something holds us back? Things like rejection or the fear of failure? Maybe it’s the fear of having to take two steps back after you’ve worked so hard to take one step forward?

Let me tell you a little something about myself. I am an outgoing person. I like to talk to people, love making new friends, and am pretty good at adapting and expanding my comfort zone. These are just some of the qualities that makes me, me. And part of that within my personality is my ability to just say “oh what the heck, why not? What do I have to lose?” This is something I love about myself and is what keeps me going every day.

However, there have been moments in my life where the result from taking a chance and speaking up hasn’t always resulted in something as peachy as I’d have hoped. Leaving me feeling inhibited and reexploring who I am and what I want. Trying to let go of the past and move forward. (Is this a Lion King “Hakunamata” moment?)

Now, let me let you in on a little secret of mine. I have never regretted a single chance I’ve taken. The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Sometimes I’ve been burned, yes. And other times, I have been completely amazed by the amount of growth and my own potential I’ve discovered. I love surprising myself and I think that’s another reason why I am so open to trying new things and expanding my comfort zone. And the bad and ugly results? I’ve always been able to move on. No matter how difficult.

I’ve never moved across the country, or jumped out of an airplane and I’ve never quit my job for the fun of a European extravaganza. Some of these things require a little more calculation and the responsibilities of life do come into the picture. That said, there are things in our lives that we can do to grow and to surprise ourselves to discover what our potential can truly be. Every single day.

The Happiest of Happy Hours.

Memorial Day is next week, which means Summer is basically already here. So, I thought I’d put together a compilation of hot spots in the Twin Cities for a  happy hour rendezvous. The first five? Restaurants I’ve been to and love visiting time and time again. The second set, are places I’ve never been to but have every intention of knocking them off my summer bucket list at least once.

My Happiest Five: 

1. Pinstripes — There’s not much I don’t love about Pinstripes. Half off small plates, flatbreads, pizzas and drinks. The atmosphere is relaxed and sophisticated and their patio overlooks Centennial Lakes. Parking is easy and the restaurant is always buzzing.

2. Smack Shack — Two words: Ah. Mazing. My favorite things to get there? The wings or fish tacos, and if I’m really in the mood for something fun and feeling extra girly, I’ll get a Hurricane. Can’t wait for the weather to continue to get nicer so I can mosey on over there after work, as it’s right around the corner from the office.

3. Tangiers — Another one right around the corner from work in the North Loop. But with an entirely different atmosphere from my last restaurant-of-choice. When thinking of the Tangiers, upscale French cafe definitely comes to mind. My last menu items ordered? Champagne cocktail (yum!) and lettuce wraps. The added perk is that it’s reasonably priced.

4. The Loop — I’m realizing I might be a little partial to the North Loop area. I mostly just like this restaurant because of its convenient location and decent deals. I’ve only been there once, but have been trying to organize another appearance. (To be honest though, the only reason I want to go is because they play 90’s music on Friday nights…)

5.  Crave — Not just any Crave location, the best Crave is the downtown location with the rooftop (hands down). Between the cushioned lounge area, half priced sushi and being on a roof in the heart of downtown, the only thing that would be better is if you didn’t have to worry about parking.

One of many Summer Bucket Lists (and this doesn’t even begin to cut it): 

1.  Psycho Suzi’s — I’ve been here before, but never for happy hour. But when I do go, it needs to be out on the patio. Who wouldn’t have a great time between the tiki torches and drinking from a pineapple or coconut drink?!

2. Great Waters Brewing Company — I don’t know much about this place, other than it is in St. Paul and it made the cut on City Pages with a 77% approval rating from other restaurant-goers. Sure, I’ll give it a try. Why not.

3. Happy Gnome — Well if “happy” is in the name, then it must be a great place for a happy hour, (or two or three). I’ve been here with a few friends before, and it was a great vibe in the middle of winter. I’d like to give it a shot after a long workday and with sunlight pouring from the windows, instead of peering through frosted glass from the inside looking out.

4. Sapor — I don’t know much about this place, except for the fact that it is new to the North Loop neighborhood and has a coffee-house vibe to it. Not sure if it’ll be worth it or not. But, I might be open to it.

5. Urban Eatery — This is right around the corner from my apartment and across the street from Lake Calhoun. I went there once with friends for lunch on a  Sunday afternoon after hanging out at the lake and it was de-licious. We sat outside on the patio and I would most definitely head over there for a quick, sunny bite to eat with a few friends out on the patio again. And would maybe even take advantage of their late night happy hour during the week and on weekends.

 

Suddenly I see…

One of my favorite movies is The Devil Wears Prada. And for many reasons. I’ve always admired the fast-paced fashion world, and I like to think that this movie inspired my own sense of style. The soundtrack is great, and when I’m having one of those days where I could use some added inspiration, I usually end up turning on that soundtrack to add some zip to my step. What I love most about that movie though, is the way Andy Sachs (the main character) overcomes the challenges thrown in her way by her boss (Meryl Streep) and the role that plays in her development as a character.

Andy didn’t give up. She worked really really hard, figured out her boss’ expectations for her and adapted to the role she needed to play to succeed. The happy ending? She totally rocked it.  I admire that in her character. She developed from an awkward writer to a mature, confident young professional. Even better is that she got there with dedication, determination and stayed true to her own convictions.  One of the best metaphors in this movie is when she gets a full makeover once she starts to evolve and realize her full potential — hair, makeup, clothes…the whole kit and caboodle.

I like to think that I have a little bit of Andy Sachs in me. Being a young professional certainly has its difficulties. There are days that are more exciting and rewarding than others. And there are days that are just exhausting.  But at the end of the day I love my job. I work as hard as I do because I don’t just love what I do, but I love why I do it. I get to help brands become more inspiring. I help them better understand themselves and help them showcase their full potential and who they are with design. And then, they execute their missions with more conviction and zip in their step.  I guess in some ways this is similar to how Andy showed that with her makeover.

So as a young professional who is still figuring things out in the world, I am learning to keep in mind three very important things: why I am doing what I’m doing, staying attuned to my purpose, and having enough confidence and faith in myself to conquer the challenges I encounter — dedication, determination, conviction. Now if only I had a full closet makeover to go along with this…

 

 

23 lessons I’ve learned by 23 …

I was perusing the various blogs I follow this morning and came across this brutally honest post about the things we learn by the time we are 23. I could relate to the majority of these lessons, so thought I’d go ahead and share. My intention of reblogging this is not only because of  certain life experiences I’ve had and ways I’ve grown from them  —  but because I believe that these are some of the lessons that people (myself included) will continually learn and relearn.  So, reblogging seemed fitting.

1. You are not your failures or rejections. You are not the boy who couldn’t love you, the job you didn’t get, the school that wait-listed you…

2. You are, however, your passions, your convictions and the company you keep.

3. Blocking toxic people out is hard, healthy and needed. You may regret blocking people out. But you will ultimately rejoice in a toxic-free life.

4. You are unique, and your experience with people is unique.

5. Have the courage to be yourself all the time.

6. Show your love. Especially to your parents. We are all living on borrowed time, don’t waste the moment you could have said, “I love you, Mom and Dad.”

7. Don’t be the life of a pity party. No one enjoys the tear-stained favors or melancholy attitude.

8. Trust your intuition. Period.

9. Know when to fight. More importantly, know when to walk away. And keep walking.

10. Never regret speaking your mind and respecting yourself. Even if it compromises your reputation, your relationships or “looking pyscho”. Never regret loving yourself enough to call out people who don’t.

11. She’s no you. And you aren’t her either. So stop comparing yourself, there is no comparison.

12. You can only overcome self-harm with self-love.

13. You were created to be something magnificent. Honor that.

14. Continue to be outspoken. Some will find it scary, some will find it sexy, but you will find it liberating.

15. You may not have the person you want, but you have your integrity. Hold onto it. It will get you through difficult periods with grace and poise. Don’t succumb to low levels of revenge and desperation. Continue to be dignified even when it seems unfair or unresponsive.

16. Before you do something, question your motives. We all have demons but we all have a responsibility to tame them before they turn into our monsters.

17. If you apologize, mean it.

18. Be good to the ones who are good to you.

19. God will speak to you through other people, dreams, and music. Listen.

20. We have so many different chapters in this lifetime. People are not meant to be “main characters” throughout our story. That doesn’t mean we won’t find our happy ending.

21. Some people will take you for granted. Some will emotionally abuse you. This is their problem. Unfortunately you will be a causality in someone’s personal battle, but again, this is their problem.

22. It is never too late to change and grow.

23. Forgive. Forgive your enemies and forgive yourself.

Inspired by Thought Catalog 

Pilot.

I moved to Minneapolis a little over four months ago. From Chaska. And believe me when I tell you that after living at home for as long as I did, this was a VERY long time coming. Moving out has been quite possibly one of the most liberating experiences I’ve had to date. It’s almost as if my “young adult, twenty-something” life took off — I kind of hit the ground running. And the best part about it is that I’m doing it all on my own. That’s where the idea for this blog comes into play.

I’ve been wanting to restart a blog for a while. And, I’ve been wanting to somehow premise it around this new, exciting life. Do not be confused by the word “new.” Not everything has changed, I’m still the wide-eyed and bushy-tailed girl I’ve always been. Perhaps a little more grown up, with less frizz in that bushy pony tail and more wisdom behind those wide eyes of mine (some days). The thing is that this blog is not going to be about MY life, but the things that happen, the adventures had, decisions made, things that inspire; the realities of life that others in their twenties can relate to…that sort of thing.

So, friends, bear with me for these first few posts. I’m still working out the kinks to this next endeavor. My hope for it though is that as readers of this, you’ll laugh, be inspired, dream a little bigger, and perhaps we can all learn something and grow from the words that will come to be.